Naruko
by Storychan
Summary: What if Naruko were born a girl? And every female canon character was born a male, and vice versa? Gendderflipped fic following canon storyline. F!Naruto/M!Sakura/F!Sasuke.
1. The Knuckleheaded Kunoichi

**I own nothing but the gender-flipped appearances of Masashi Kishimoto's characters. He own the characters, story, and well….everything. This is just for the hell of it. (idea courtesy of 'The Gender Flip of Haruhi Suzumiya') **

**Canon pairings only. Please review!**

Naruko, Chapter 1: The Knuckleheaded Kunoichi

Why did she keep screaming?, the girl wondered, shaking her blonde pigtails out of her eyes and trying to keep her orange-skirted behind from falling off the cliff.

"It's not nice to scream, Iruko-sensei!" the girl laughed.

"NARUKO-CHAN!" Iruko screamed from the ground hundreds of feet below. "I wouldn't have to scream if you would just come down off the Hokage monument-is that PAINT?"

Uzumaki Naruko laughed and admired her handiwork. The serious-faced Hokage carved into the cliff face were now spattered with neon spray paint.

"Naruko-chan, that's sacrilege!" Iruko ranted. "How **dare **you deface our village leaders! That is **so not ladylike**! You'll never become a kunoichi if you keep playing pranks like a little girl."

"But I don't want to be a lady," Naruko laughed, "I want to be Hokage!"

Iruko kept ranting but Naruko didn't listen. It was true, she didn't want to be all polite and serious like Sasune or Nemi. She wanted to stand out, so that the village would notice her. She refused to be an ordinary girl.

"You're cleaning this up, Naruko-chan," said Iruko, using her ninjutsu abilities to leap onto the high boulder where Naruko sat. "I hope you know that."

"Oh, man!" Naruko whined. "I hate girly chores like that."

"Then you shouldn't have made this mess!" Iruko chided. Her expression softened and she added, "Listen, Naruko-chan…I know cleaning makes you feel like a stupid maid, but you're not stupid. Clean this up and I'll buy you some ramen."

"Ramen?" Naruko cried. "OK! Just call me Little Maid Girl Naruko! I'll wear one of those stupid caps and everything!"

Iruko laughed, "That's not necessary. Just hurry up and clean it before the village elders notice."

That night at Ichiraku Ramen, Iruko couldn't stop staring at the growing pile of empty ramen bowls next to Naruko.

"Naruko-chan, you keep eating like that and you'll lose your girlish figure!" Iruko advised, chuckling.

"Whatever," Naruko said, absentmindedly piling extra fishcakes into her twelfth ramen bowl. "Oba-san, where's the hot sauce?"

"Oh, you **so **aren't a normal girl!" Iruko laughed. "I mean, I'm glad you're not self-conscious about your weight, but…."

"So, you're paying, right, Iruko-sensei?" Naruko interrupted. Iruko sweatdropped, digging into her purse for extra cash.

"Hey, Iruko-sensei?" Naruko asked. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What, Naruko-chan?" Iruko replied. Naruko never asked for much…besides ramen, of course. The hyperactive girl had had a difficult life thus far, but she was always so cheery. Iruko wasn't sure she could refuse Naruko anything.

"Can I wear your headband?" Naruko asked.

_..Except that_, Iruko thought. "Naruko-chan, I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. This headband," she said, pointing to her forehead, "is only for _shinobi _of Konoha. You're just a student, Naruko-chan."

"Oh," Naruko pouted, her red lipstick only making it more pronounced. Iruko felt bad about refusing…Naruko had grown up into such a beautiful young woman, and Iruko was proud of her. But she was still always acting like a little girl, like she were three instead of thirteen! Nobody else would see what Iruko saw in Naruko if she kept that immature attitude up.

Naruko was always Iruko's biggest worry.

"I'll become a _shinobi_,though," Naruko muttered. "I'll become Hokage, Iruko-sensei..believe it!"

_I already do_, Iruko thought. _Do you?_

The next day, Iruko wasn't sure what to believe. Naruko had seemed so fired up last night, but today she was sleeping in class. And it was the day of the Genin Test, too!

"Come on, Naruko-chan," Iruko said, calling Naruko to the front of the class. "All you have to do is summon a Shadow Clone, and you'll pass."

Naruko nodded and walked over to Iruko's desk. "OK, here I go!" she smiled, and….

Turned into an ecchi-looking _bishounen. _

"W-WHAT THE HELL, NARUKO-CHAN?" Iruko yelled, at the end of her rope, her luminescent blush belying her scolding. "STOP SCREWING AROUND!"

There was a POP! and Naruko returned to her normal, female self. "Sorry, Iruko-sensei. I'll do it for real, now…SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

An anemic-looking Naruko clone appeared past out on the floor before disappearing completely.

There was no way Iruko could avoid failing Naruko after that.

Naruko sat, sadly, smoothing her skirt out as she sat on the swings she'd played on as a little girl, watching the other kids graduate and become real _shinobi_, with headbands like Iruko's.

"Good job, sweetie!"

"That's my boy!"

It really made Naruko sick. The whole village didn't like her, and Iruko didn't pass her. She wasn't going to ever be a _kunoichi_, was she?

"No," she whispered to herself. "I can't give up. I'll be Hokage, and everybody will notice me. I will….I will….." She tried not to cry. Crying made her look like a hysterical chick who couldn't handle anything…it wasn't right…

"Naruko-chan?" said an older female voice.

Naruko looked and saw a tall woman with long blue hair tucked into a stylish black bandana wearing a black blouse and long black skirt with a standard green Kohana-_chunin _flak jacket.

"Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko cried, surprised. Mizumi was a teacher at the Ninja Academy, like Iruko.

"It was so mean of Iruko-san to fail you, Naruko-chan," Mizumi smiled. "Iruko-san isn't the only one who can make a student into a _genin_, you know."

"Y-you'll let me graduate, Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko asked, hopeful.

"First, you need to improve your skills, Naruko-chan," Mizumi advised. "So I'll let you in on a little secret. There's a scroll at the Hokage's house that will teach you everything you need to know. Get the secrets of the scroll, and you can graduate, Naruko-chan."

"Easy-peasy!" Naruko laughed. "I just gotta go grab a scroll?"

"That's all, Naruko-chan," Mizumi smiled.

Naruko waited for it to get dark and then raced over to the Hokage's house. _Hokage-bachan should have known better than to have a kunoichi guard the scroll! _Naruko thought, laughing. "HANDSOME JUTSU!"

The second the guard saw Naruko the Smexy Bishounen, she fainted, blushing. _Too easy_, Naruko thought, returning to her normal teen-girl self with a POP!

She grabbed the scroll and ran for the woods.

She hadn't been running long when she ran into Mizumi.

"Oh, hey, Mizumi-sensei!" laughed Naruko, "thanks for the tip!"

"Just give me the scroll," Mizumi barked.

"Hey, relax, Mizumi-sensei, I got the scroll. I guess I can graduate now, huh?" Naruko smiled.

"GIVE ME THE DAMN SCROLL!" Mizumi barked, her expression tinged with depravity.

"M-Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko blinked, her smile vanishing. "Are you OK?"

"Don't give it to her!" a friendly female voice called desperately.

"Huh?" Naruko cried, recognizing the voice as Iruko's. "What are you doing out here, Iruko-sensei?"

"Give me the scroll, Naruko-chan!" Iruko panted. "She can't be allowed to possess it."

"Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko cried, whirling to face Mizumi, who was brandishing a kunai knife. "What the heck is going on?"

"Mizumi-san is trying to frame you, Naruko-chan!" Iruko cried. "She wants everyone to blame you for stealing the secret scroll."

"Huh?" Naruko cried.

"Like anybody would be surprised that the fox-girl turned out to be a thief!" Mizumi laughed evilly.

"Fox-girl?" Naruko repeated. "W-what are you talking about?"

"Oh, Naruko-chan," Mizumi sneered. "Didn't you ever wonder why the whole village ostracizes you? Don't you want to know why you don't have any friends?"

"I'm Naruko-chan's friend!" Iruko cried.

"How can you be, Iruko-san?" Mizumi laughed. "Naruko-chan is the reason you don't have a family!"

"W-what?" Naruko cried.

"Thirteen years ago…" Mizumi began.

"Don't tell her!" Iruko pleaded. "The Hokage herself forbade it."

"Tell me what?" Naruko cried. "Tell me _**what**_, Sensei?"

"Thirteen years ago, a nine-tailed fox attacked our village," Mizumi explained with a cruel snicker. "The Fourth Hokage gave her life to…."

"To kill the fox, right?" Naruko interjected.

"No," Mizumi sneered, "to seal it away. They wanted a little boy to seal the Fox away in, see…a strong little guy. But all they found was a baby girl."

_No_, Naruko thought.

"Yes, Naruko-chan," Mizumi cackled, "the baby girl was you! You are the Nine-Tailed Fox! You're the monster who murdered Iruko-san's parents!"

"No!" Naruko cried. "No, I-"

Naruko looked back at Iruko's sad face.

Then, Naruko believed it. _I am the Fox. Oh my kami. I am the Fox. Iruko-sensei must hate me. _

Naruko was stunned out of her thoughts when a rain of shuriken flew from Mizumi's hand and she was pushed to the ground.

Iruko screamed with pain as she held Naruko down, out of harm's way. Naruko felt blood drip from Iruko's arms.

"No, Iruko-sensei!" Naruko screamed. "No!"

"Naruko-chan…." Iruko moaned through her pain. "Run, run! Don't let Mizumi get the scroll….."

_Iruko-sensei sacrificed herself for me. _Naruko realized. _Why would she do that for me?_

"Run, Naruko-chan, run!" Iruko screamed.

_I have to save the scroll, _Naruko thought. _For Iruko-sensei!_

She turned and ran. She should've known Mizumi would catch up.

"Give me the scroll, Naruko-chan!" Mizumi screamed. "Or I'll kill you!"

_I can't die._ Naruko thought. _I'm going to be Hokage!_

She screamed as she released a hundred, no, two hundred shadow clones. A new trick she'd learned….from the scroll. For Iruko-sensei.

"Are you OK, Naruko-chan?" Iruko asked.

"Yeah," Naruko whispered tiredly. "What about you, Iruko-sensei? Mizumi-sensei must have-"

"I'll be fine." Iruko smiled. "I have something for you." She smiled and removed her headband. Offered it to Naruko.

"From this day forward, Naruko-chan," Iruko smiled. "You are an official genin kunoichi of Konoha."

_The Next Day_

_Ninja Academy_

"OK, class!" Iruko smiled. "You are now all official genin of Konoha. Congratulations. You will now be divided into three-man cells, with a jounin as your sensei. Understood?"

_Three-man cells, huh? _Naruko thought. _Oh, I hope I'm with Sakuro-kun!_

Naruko looked at the pink-haired, green-eyed boy with the long red and white overcoat and black pants. He was the smartest, cutest boy Naruko knew.

But he was staring at Uchiha Sasune.

The snooty girl had waist-length, spiky black hair behind her new headband. Today, she was wearng a blue turtleneck with the Uchiha crest on it and a little black skirt. She looked bored.

_Of course Sakuro-kun is staring at Sasune-san! _ Naruko thought, frowning. _All the boys do. They all think she's so COOL because she's a little teacher's pet and she's always showing off and she's so freakin' bishoujo-looking and wears those stupid little skirts. I hate her! _

"Sit by me, Sasune-chan!" Sakuro smiled.

"No, Sakuro-kun!" Naruko cried. "Sit next to me!" She jumped up from her seat and ran toward Sakuro's desk.

She crash-landed into….something. Something soft and vaguely female…..

Naruko almost screamed when she saw her face had crashed right into Sasune's shocked, open mouth.

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed, backing away and trying not to vomit. _DID I JUST SERIOUSLY ACCIDENTALLY KISS SASUNE-SAN? WHAT IS THIS, A YURI MANGA? _

"Disgusting," Sasune muttered, wiping her face with her sleeve.

"It's not like I wanted to!" Naruko screamed. "Stop putting your dumb face where people are trying to walk!"

Naruko, blushing furiously with humiliation, stole a glance at Sakuro, who somehow had gotten a nosebleed . He looked angry…and a little jealous.

_Damn Sasune-san! _"Hey, Sakuro-kun!" Naruko cried. "You know who I'd rather-"

"QUIET DOWN!" Iruko screamed. "Alright, I'm dividing you all up now. Here are your senseis. You'll report to the one I assign you."

Naruko, still a bit nauseous from that first-kiss-gone-awry, looked and saw two women and one man at the front of the room. Naruko had seen them before.

The first woman had long spiky brown hair and was smoking a long, slender pipe. She wore the black blouse, green flak jacket, and long black skirt common to most jounin kunoichi Naruko had seen. Iruko wore the same outfit. This woman's, however, also had a white cloth on it with a symbol for fire. Naruko knew the woman to be Sarutobi Asuna-sensei.

She was standing next to a pretty-looking young man with red eyes who wore a white and red jumpsuit with a kimono-style neck that only had one sleeve. He was Kureno-sensei.

The third woman had a unibrow and didn't attract Naruko's attention.

"Asuna-sensei will teach Nara Shikamane, Yamanaka Ito, and Akamichi Chouko." Iruko announced.

"NOOOOOOO!" a boy with a blonde ponytail and a purple jumpsuit cried. "I want to be on Sasune-chan's team!"

"Sorry, Ito-kun," Iruko sighed. "Not going to happen. Go join your team! Moving on…Kureno-sensei will teach Hyuuga Hinaga, Inzuka Kibako, and Aburame Shiko. The other sensei gets Hyuuga Nemi, Tenshi, and Rock Leechee."

"What about me?" Naruko asked, realizing her name hadn't been called.

"Another sensei is coming for your team," Iruko replied. "Unfortunately, she's late. Naruko-chan, you're on Team 7 with Haruno Sakuro….."

"YES!" Naruko giggled.

"…and Uchiha Sasune," Iruko continued.

"NO!" Naruko sighed.

"Grow up, Naruko-san," Sakuro sighed. _Why do I have to be on a team with that ditz? _He thought. _She'll just get in the way of my plan to get Sasune-chan. She's so cute. _ He sighed dreamily. _Mmm._

Sasune's perfectly-lined eyes glared at Naruko. _A ditz and a fanboy_. Sasune thought. _Doesn't matter. Itachiko-ne is all I care about. Just hope they don't get in my way_, she frowned, flipping a strand of perfect hair.

"So who's our sensei?" Sakuro asked.

"Her name," Iruko said, "is Hatake Kakashiko."


	2. Kakashiko the Ice Queen!

Naruko, Chapter 2: Kakashiko the Ice Queen?

"So our sensei is the infamous Kakashiko?" Naruko laughed. "Well, if she's so cool, why is she late? Fixing her hair? Whatever…let's play a prank on her!"

"Don't, Naruko-san," Sakuro advised. _Kami, _he thought. _That ditz Naruko is so freaking immature. Aren't girls supposed to be the mature ones at this age? She had better figure out that girls are supposed to be elegant. No guy wants a girl who acts like she's five freaking years old. _

"Grow up, Naruko-chan!" Sasune sighed. "If you act like this on a mission, we'll all die."

"Whoa, Sasune-san!" Naruko pouted, shoving a bucket over the door so that it would fall on Kakashiko when she came in. "That's a little harsh!"

_No, it isn't, _Sakuro thought. _Sasune-chan is always right! She's a real yamato nadeshiko- elegant, beautiful, and a great kunoichi. I'm so glad I'm on her team. Naruko-san will just drag us down. Ditz._

Kakashiko entered at just that moment, earning herself a bucket to the head.

When Sakuro took a good look at her, she looked kind of…cute. In a mature, off-limits way, of course: She had spiky white hair done up with lots of hairspray and a big bandana over her face, so you could only see one appraising, perfectly made-up eye. She had a curvy, mature build and wore the usual black skirt outfit and green flak jacket of jounin kunoichi. She looked cool, but like she was dangerous, like if you looked at her the wrong way, she'd freaking castrate you in five seconds.

She freaking scared Sakuro.

"So you're my students?" Kakashiko smirked. "I'm not very impressed."

"Hey!" Naruko cried.

_Bitch, _Sakuro thought to himself.

_The Next Day_

_Training Forest_

"OK," Kakashiko directed. "Let's start by saying our names and goals."

"Umm, OK!" Naruko smiled. "I'll start! My name is Uzumaki Naruko. My goal is to be Hokage!"

_What? _Sakuro thought, smirking. _That ditzy girl thinks she'll be Hokage? Wow. Now __**nothing **__I say will sound far-fetched. _"My name is Haruno Sakuro," he said. "My goal is to be a good _shinobi _and win the heart of a certain pretty girl."

_Seriously? _ Sasune thought. _You expect girls to gossip about crap like that, but not a smart guy like Sakuro-kun. What is he, gay or something? Either way…weak. I may be a thirteen-year-old girl, but I have more important things to worry about. _"My name is Uchiha Sasune," he said. "And my goal is to restore my clan…and kill a certain person."

Sakuro got big eyes, Naruko noticed. _What the hell? _ she thought. _What is this girl, a bunny boiler? Normal girls don't say crap like that. They talk about normal stuff…ninjutsu and boys. This girl is __**weird. **__I knew I didn't like her._

"Thank you, Naruko-san, Sasune-san, Sakuro-kun," Kakashiko smiled. "Now, I have a test for you."

"What kind of test?" Naruko asked.

"Simple," Kakashiko smirked, holding up two jingling bells. "Steal one of these, and you pass."

"That's it?" asked Sasune, smirking.

"Yes," Kakashiko smirked. "But fail, and you will never become a _shinobi_".

"WHAT?" Naruko cried.

"We already passed Iruko-sensei's exam," Sakuro reminded.

"Doesn't matter," Kakashiko smirked. "I am your sensei. Fail my test, and you will be sent back to the academy."

_Argh, _Naruko thought. _Kakashiko-sensei is so cold! It's like she doesn't care if we fail. Aren't lady teachers supposed to be more motherly than that? She's a goddamn ice queen._

"Wait, Kakashiko-sensei," Sakuro asked timidly. "How can we all pass if there's three of us and only two bells?"

"You won't all pass," Kakashiko smirked. "One of you is doomed to fail. You are forbidden from helping each other pass. Oh, and the one who doesn't pass gets no lunch!"

"W-what?" Naruko cried. "But none of us ate breakfast!"

"Get over it, Naruko-san," Sasune smirked. "Nobody likes a girl who over-eats anyway."

"I'll earn my lunch!" Naruko promised. "I won't fail this test. I won't let Sasune-san beat me."

"Let's get started," Kakashiko smiled, and walked over to a tree. She opened up a book entitled _Yaoi Yaoi Paradise._

_What the hell? _Naruko thought, getting ticked off. _Kakashiko-sensei is just going to sit around reading smutty slash fics all day?_

"Start anytime," Kakashiko chuckled coolly.

"Yeah, I will!" Naruko cried, rushing their ice queen sensei.

"A THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!" cried Kakashiko, and Naruko went flying.

_What the-_ thought Sakuro as he hid behind some bushes. _Did Kakashiko-sensei just poke Naruko-san in the butt? Well, _he chuckled. _That'll teach her to hide her butt in longer skirts. Ditz! _

Sakuro turned and walked off into the forest, trying to plan how to attack Kakashiko.

"_Nightmare Jutsu_," Kakashiko muttered, and turned a heavily made-up eye onto Sakuro.

Before Sakuro appeared Sasune, bleeding and badly hurt.

Her long hair was matted with blood and senbon jutted from her back and breasts. Her skirt was torn and her knees were bruised.

"Oh, kami!" Sakuro cried. "Sasune-chan! W-what happened to you? Did Kakashiko-sensei do this to you?"

_This is messed-up! _Sakuro thought. _Sasune-chan is just a girl. Why would Kakashiko-sensei attack her like this? God, she looks like some poor damsel in distress. I have to help her!_

"S-S-Sakuro-kun…." Sasune cried, mascara and tears running down her bruised face. "Please…."

_No,_ Sakuro thought. _No, no, no! This can't be happening. Not to my poor little Sasune-chan. Kami, she's just a girl! This is dishonorable._

"Sakuro-kuuuun….." Sasune moaned, pretty eyes swimming with tears. "T-they did something bad to me…..H-help me…."

_No! _Sakuro thought. _Oh kami, NO…..Not to her….poor girl…no, no, no, no, no….NO! _

_Oh, kami, don't let this be real. SASUNE-CHAN!_

He barely noticed when he blacked out.

"Hmm," Kakashiko mused after seeing Sakuro faint under the power of her cruel illusion trick. "Did I go too far?"

The real Sasune stepped out of the shadows, perfectly fine, and hurled a fireball at Kakashiko.

"Not bad," Kakashiko smirked, dodging. "Sorry about this, Sasune-san!"

She buried Sasune neck-deep in the dirt, trapping her.

Sakuro happened upon her just as Kakashiko disappeared from sight. _Sasune-chan! Her head! _He thought. _It's just lying there! Did our sick sensei behead her?_

"Oh, hello, Sakuro-kun," said Sasune, trying to dig herself out.

Sakuro passed out again, earning no respect from the three _kunoichi _nearby.

"Poor Sakuro-kun," Naruko whispered to herself as she stared out from her hiding place in the bushes. "Kakashiko-sensei was mean to scare him. He's such a sensitive guy…I like that. If only he weren't so focused on Sasune-san…"

_Oh, well, _ she thought. _I'd better try and beat Kakashiko-sensei again, for that!_

She rushed Kakashiko, who continued to giggle over her yaoi like a bored fangirl. Before Naruko knew what was happening, she was up a tree. _A trap_, she realized.

She hung there for a while, thinking. _Well, at least I know Sakuro-kun and Sasune-san might not be doing much better. _

Hours later, though, when Naruko was cut down and shoved onto a stump, she saw that Sasune and Sakuro had somehow gotten their hands on the bells.

"Good job, Sasune-san, Sakuro-kun," Kakashiko smiled. "You got the bells. Here's some lunch," she added, throwing them some bento boxes. "I'll be right back. Naruko….Failure!"

Naruko frowned. Now she'd never be a _kunoichi_!

It was even worse that Sasune and Sakuro got nice lunches. Naruko was _starving. _With self-loathing for her weakness, she began to cry.

"Here, Naruko-san," said Sakuro. "Take some of my food." _I can't appreciate my lunch when a girl is crying next to me from hunger,_ Sakuro thought. _Rules or no, I have to be a gentleman. I feel bad for her._

"Sakuro-kun!" Sasune screamed. "What are you doing? Kakashiko-sensei said that if we feed Naruko-san, he'll fail us!"

"I don't care!" Sakuro cried. "I don't want to work with a cold bitch who would deny an innocent girl food, anyway. Kakashiko-sensei is a freaking ice queen. Does she have no compassion at all? If the choice is between failure or working for a shrewish witch like that, I'll pick failure."

"We might as well all fail, then," Sasune sighed. "Maybe you're right, Sakuro-kun, but-"

Kakashiko swooped down at just that moment, and Sasune prepared to be punished.

"You pass!" Kakashiko smiled. "All three of you!"

"WHAT?" cried all three genin.

"The lesson I was trying to teach you," Kakashiko smiled. "is teamwork. With the bell test, none of you tried to help each other-"

"But there were only two bells!" Sakuro interrupted. "There's no way we could have all passed."

"That was the point," smiled Kakashiko. "Your comrades must be priority."

"So-" Sasune began.

"So," Kakashiko smiled. "You two wouldn't let Naruko starve. Congratulations! You all have the heart it takes to become true _shinobi_."


	3. Bachan's Demands

**NARUKO'S FIRST MISSION! :D Due to reviewer suggestions, I've diverted from canon events in this new chapter. Naruko still makes a blood oath, and Sasune still saves her skin. Exactly how it happens, however, has changed considerably. **

**Imachan1208, I've tried to make Sakuro less mean to Naruko in this chapter. Remember, the original Sakura was a total tsundere! **

**I hope you like this chapter. Everybody, please review! **

**N**aruko, Chapter 3: Ba-chan's Demands

"Waiting can be lethal," Naruko said, leaning up against a fence.

"Waiting for _what_, Naruko-san?" said Sakuro, poking a bush with a stick. "I mean, we're on a freaking mission."

"Yeah, Naruko-san!" Sasune said, glaring. "Stop goofing off and help us complete it!"

"You call this a **mission**?" Naruko pouted. "We're _chasing a cat_."

"That's what D-rank missions are all about, Naruko-san," Sakuro sighed. "Doing chores for the village in order to practice your skills."

"It's boring," replied Naruko as a cat with a red bow on its ear leaped out of the bush Sakuro was poking.

Sakuro caught the cat in his hands. "There! Found it. Now let's go back to Hokage-bachan and turn this little kitty in."

_Minutes Later_

_Hokage Residence_

"Thank you for finding the cat, genin," said an old woman in red and white robes who all three easily recognized as the Third Hokage. "The daimyo's husband has been looking for it."

A fat man appeared and grabbed the cat. "Oh, I'm so glad you found Tora-chan! Just in time for me to put on his tea party outfit," he smiled, hugging the cat so tight that it nearly choked.

_No wonder the cat ran away_, Sakuro thought. _That's a boy cat and it has to wear a bow on it's head? I would've made a break for it, too._

After the fat man and the cat left, Naruko cried, "HOKAGE-BACHAN!"

"Naruko-san!" Sakuro hissed. "What do you think you're doing, yelling at the village leader?"

"I'm bored, Ba-chan!" Naruko cried, ignoring Sakuro. "The missions you've been giving us are so stupid!"

"Shut it, Naruko-san," advised Sasune. "Don't be so ungrateful. You're going to get us in trouble."

"The trouble is the missions!" Naruko continued, ignoring her teammates. "Chasing cats! Picking up trash! What the hell?"

_Young ladies shouldn't use that kind of language, should they? _Sakuro thought. _Especially to their elders! Kami, Naruko-san is such a ditz…it's true what they say about blonde chicks being dumb. This is why I prefer girls like Sasune-chan…__**she'd**__ never be so freaking rude._

"What would you prefer?" the Hokage challenged as she shuffled a stack of papers.

"A real mission!" Naruko replied. "With danger and excitement, something challenging, at least."

"Whoa, Naruko-san", said Sakuro. "I'm perfectly fine with 'no danger' missions."

_Coward_, thought Sasune. _What is he, a little girl?_

"I might have something for you, actually," said the Hokage, smiling. "If your team will accept it."

"For real?" cried the three genin in unison.

"Yes," the Hokage smiled. "An escort mission. There's someone you need to guard."

"Who?" cried Naruko, acting like a little girl who'd just heard she might get a pony. "A prince?"

"No," chuckled the Hokage. "A bridge-builder named Tazuko."

"I thought 'Tazuko' was a girl's name," said Sakuro.

"What?" barked an old woman in a tattered blue yukata and blue vest, who wore spectacles and a hat. "Do you think a girl can't be a bridge-builder?"

_Actually, I am kind of surprised,_ Sakuro thought. _It's a really physically demanding job. Not a lot of women would do that. Not that I would say that to this woman…I can't believe she called herself a 'girl'. She's, like, super-old. She's an old __**woman. **__She hasn't really been a 'girl' for at least 30 years._

"So, we're supposed to guard you, Tazuko-bachan?" asked Naruko.

"Yes," said Tazuko. "And don't call me 'ba-chan'!" she snapped.

"Tazuko is from the Land of the Waves," explained the Hokage as Kakashiko walked in, late. "Oh, hello, Kakashiko-chan! I was just offering a mission to your team, here. Tazuko-san needs a team of _shinobi_ to guard her from bandits and such while she travels home."

"Sounds simple enough," said Kakashiko. "I'm sure my genin will be happy to help you home, Tazuko-bachan."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CALLING ME 'BA-CHAN'?" snapped Tazuko.

Nevertheless, minutes later, Naruko, Sasune, and Sakuro were walking out of the village gates, with Kakashiko and Tazuko following them.

"Wow!" Naruko laughed. "I finally get to travel!"

"You've never been out of your village before?" asked Tazuko, losing confidence in her guard with every passing minute. Naruko nodded. "Just great!" chuckled Tazuko sarcastically. "What's your name, little girl?"

"I'm not a 'little girl'!" said Naruko, bristling. "I'm a _kunoichi_. My name is Uzumaki Naruko. And I'm going to be Hokage."

Tazuko simply laughed at that, which did nothing to better Naruko's mood. "I will!" said Naruko. "Believe it."

"Naruko-san," said Sakuro. "Stop chatting and come on. Get serious before a bandit attacks!"

"You're right," realized Naruko, sobering. _I am a kunoichi of Konohagakure, _she told herself. _I have to stay alert._

A rustling sound came from behind a bush, and Naruko, seeking to prove her alertness, tossed a kunai at it.

An injured bunny flopped out the bush, speared on it.

"Oh no!" cried Naruko. "Oh, poor bunny! Don't die, bunny. Crap! I'm sorry."

"That's a white bunny," Kakashiko noticed.

"Yeah, so what if it-" began Naruko when two women leaped from behind the bush. One had her metal claws an inch from Naruko's face when Sasune slashed at them with a kunai. "Stay sharp, Naruko-san!" Sasune cried. "We're both _kunoichi_, so don't expect for me to let you play damsel in distress!"

_Sakuro- kun might enjoy being Naruko-san's knight in shining armor,_ Sasune thought. _But I have no such ambitions! Naruko-san is just making us __**kunoichi**__ look bad. _

Naruko felt bad. She and Sasune were both just rookie girls, but Sasune was doing all the work. Naruko was just about to tell Sasune that she could take care of herself when Sasune fell to the ground.

"SASUNE-CHAN!" cried Sakuro. _What did that Oni Sister bitch do to her?_ he thought, making to run towards her. Kakashiko held him back.

"Protect Tazuko-bachan," Kakashiko ordered. "Sasune-chan is a _shinobi_. That means she needs to be willing to get hurt in order to complete the mission. If we lose Tazuko-bachan, _we've failed_."

Sakuro held up a kunai to protect Tazuko, gritting his teeth at his own helplessness. _ How can I be a good shinobi if I can't even protect the girl I like? _he screamed to himself while forcing his feet to not race to Sasune's side. _Feeding Naruko-san during Kakashiko-sensei's test felt so..right! Like I was doing the right thing. I know it isn't the most modern damn attitude in the world, but I feel like a good shinobi should protect girls. Tazuko-bachan is a woman, and she's my employer, so Kakashiko-sensei is right, I have keep her safe. But letting Sasune-chan just lie there doesn't feel OK. Is she poisoned? Crap, I've got absolutely zero anti – poison __**ninjutsu**__ skills. Thing is, Tazuko-bachan's probably got even less. I have to stay with Tazuko-bachan, but…_

"Naruko-san!" Sakuro cried. "You'd better not less Sasune-chan's sacrifice be in vain!"

Naruko felt sick. She'd been so damn defenseless, like a stupid little girl. Naruko _hated _feeling like some helpless damsel. It would've been super-cute if Sakuro had rescued her, but instead Sasune – her worst enemy! – had been forced to come to her rescue.

Now, Sasune look poisoned. She seemed sick. Naruko brandished a shuriken to throw at the Oni Sisters who had attacked them, when…

…Kakashiko killed them both. In a second! Their sensei had handled it all. The threat was neutralized. And Naruko and Sakuro had been able to do absolutely nothing to help.

It was bitterly that the pair carried Sasune off the road and into the woods so that Kakashiko could treat her. Sasune looked awful…her eyes were closed in pain.

"She'll need medicine," Kakashiko informed them. "Naruko-san? There is a plant that grows around here called _ketsu – yuri. _ It can help Sasune-chan. Please see if you can find some."

"Did you say 'ketsu –yuri'?" Naruko repeated. "As in, '_blood lily'_?"

Sasune groaned. "You did well," Kakashiko said to Sasune in a soothing maternal tone, ignoring Naruko's complaint. "You kept Naruko-san safe. I'm sorry, I should've realized Naruko-san wouldn't react fast enough to dodge the attack of the Oni Sisters. I should have protected her instead of you. Sakuro-kun?"

"W-what is it, Kakashiko-sensei?" asked Sakuro, his eyes resting guiltily on Sasune's poison-slashed hand.

"You did good, too," Kakashiko assured him. "You stood your ground and guarded Tazuko-bachan. I honestly expected you to panic and endanger us when you saw that Sasune-san was hurt."

_I almost did, _Sakuro realized. _I need to keep a cooler head if I'm going to keep Sasune-chan safe. I could've gotten myself killed if I'd ran towards the woman who had hurt her. It's not like I keep blood lilies in my back pocket, anyway. I couldn't have done much to help her injuries, either. _

"You did the right thing," Kakashiko assured. "Naruko-san, go get those blood lilies for Sasune-san. Hurry. I need to put their juice on her cut before it gets any worse."

Naruko ran deeper into the woods, as much to avoid being seen in tears as to fetch the blood lilies. She felt so useless. Naruko didn't even like Sasune, and the feeling was mutual as far as Naruko could tell. Yet Sasune had been forced to save Naruko's ass from those ninja.

_Because I'm incompetent, _Naruko thought to herself as she tried not to let the tears escape her guilty eyes. _Damnit, I'm not going to cry! I'm going to make myself useful, for once, and fetch those damn lilies for Sasune-san. It should be me lying on the ground back there. I would have been poisoned if that stupid Sasune-san hadn't stepped in front of me!_

Naruko spotted a tube-shaped red flower and, wiping her eyes on its stem, took it back to Sasune and Kakashiko. _I won't be this incompetent ever again. _Naruko told herself.

She crushed the blood lily in her hand, letting its crimson juice drip onto Sasune's prone body. The lily had thorns, and Naruko's own blood mixed with the dripping of the curing lily's juice.

"Is Sasune-chan going to be alright?" asked Tazuko, squinting at Sasune through her bifocals.

"I – I'm fine," said Sasune, sitting up. "That helped. Naruko-san, put down that flower before those thorns scratch your hand to bits, you ditz."

Instead, Naruko grasped the remnants of the blood lily harder, driving the thorns deeper into her soft skin.

"Your hands are going to look _so ugly_." Sasune scowled, turning away to check her now-healing cut.

_Ugly? They're going to be shredded! _Sakuro realized. _Those are huge ass thorns. Naruko-san could seriously lose a shitload of blood. _

"Naruko-san, I know you're a ditz, but since when are you freaking _masochistic_?" Sakuro yelled, his tone belying his horror that now two girls he was friends with now had blood gushing from their pretty hands. "S-stop it!"

Naruko completely ignored Sakuro's plea. "Everyone thinks I'm just some stupid girl!" she cried. "Everyone thinks I'm _so damn stupid_. I'm not! I swear by this pain…." Naruko felt the thorns sting her manicured fingers. "..I hope that this pain will help me freaking remember! I _swear on my stupid girly blood _that I won't be some stupid damsel anymore! I won't let you or Sasune-san come to my rescue. I vow to take care of myself. Anything less isn't what a _kunoichi _does. It's what a scared little girly princess does. And I don't want to be a princess. I want to be HOKAGE!"

"Seriously, Naruko-san!" Kakashiko barked. "You could bleed to death if you keep that up. Let me take the thorns out of your hand before you seriously incapacitate yourself."

Settling down, Naruko offered Kakashiko her hand. She'd made her point. She was going to have to make some serious changes.

Kakashiko saw that Naruko's hand had already healed. _ The power of the fox girl, _ Kakashiko thought to herself. She didn't comment on it, however. She had some questions for Tazuko, who had been quietly resting her arthritic legs on a nearby rock.

"Tazuko-bachan," Kakashiko said coldly. "Those women who attacked Sasune-san? They were _kunoichi _of the Village Hidden in the Mist. You employed as to protect you from thieves and bandits. Those women were neither. _Shinobi _don't just randomly attack old women, even bridge-building, bitchy old women like yourself. Someone had to have ordered them to do that. And I _demand _that you tell me who."


	4. Attack Of The Vixens!

Naruko, Chapter 4: Attack Of The Vixens!

By Storychan

**Hi, everybody! I know it's been….seriously forever….since I updated. *bows* I'M SO SORRY! College life has been keeping me busy as heck (in addition to my classes, I'm the director of advertising for my school's anime club, and now I'm on yearbook staff too…and I might be getting a work study job soon….I have no free time at all -_-). Plus, when I HAD time, I was working on my Yu Gi Oh fanfictions (**_**Yu Gi Oh NC, Yu Gi Hime 5Ds, Too Much Work, Yami Kiryu**_**) because I've been really obsessed with that series lately (if you're a fan of the series, go check them out!) (Oh, and I've also been working on my **_**Fruits Basket **_**genderflip…which you should also check out!) And I couldn't have updated **_**Naruko **_**even if I wanted to, because my dad **_**sold my Naruto manga! **_____**So I didn't have the original material to work with. T_T But at last I've discovered something wonderful…SCANLATIONS! I'm using the one of volume 2 I found on to write this…I'll try my best to make it worth the wait! **

**And I want to thank everyone who surprised me by favoriting this, despite it showing all the signs of an abandoned project -_- I'll try and update more frequently for you wonderful fans!**

**This chapter introduces F! Gato and F! Zabuza! I decided to call F! Gato "Gatette", because Gato originally sounded like **_**gauteau**_**, which is a French word…and "-ette" is a common ending to French girls' names. (Besides, I felt like I'd been using "-ko" too much. Which is cliché -_- )**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**-Storychan**

_Women, _thought Sakuro, _should not be allowed to operate vehicles._

The woman Tazuko had hired to ferry them in her canoe across the waves seemed to have gotten them hopelessly lost. "All I can see is mist!" Sakuro complained.

"I know where I'm going, sonny!" the ferrywoman snapped. "We should see the bridge soon. The Wave Country is at the base of the bridge."

Sakuro peered into the distance and his eyes widened as he realized the ferrywoman was right: A titanic bridge of sturdy construction, obviously built by a fine craftsman – or, Sakuro realized, crafts_woman_ – he couldn't believe a grandmother like Tazuko had the strength and skill to build such a thing - appeared out of the fog before them. In awe, he contemplated it silently.

Naruko, however? Not so much. "IT'S, LIKE, HUGE!" she cried cheerily. Sasune rolled her eyes.

_Ditz, _Sakuro thought.

"Shut your lips, girl!" the ferrywoman cried, looking not annoyed like Sakuro and Sasune, but afraid. "Why do you think we're hiding in the mist and not using the engine? Do you know what will happen if Gatette finds us?!"

_Gatette….._

Sakuro, Naruko, Sasune, and Kakashiko all exchanged troubled looks as they remembered what Tazuko, who currently would not meet their gaze, had told them earlier….

"_Tazuko-bachan," Kakashiko said coldly. "Those women who attacked Sasune-san? They were kunoichi of the Village Hidden in the Mist. You employed as to protect you from thieves and bandits. Those women were neither. Shinobi don't just randomly attack old women, even bridge-building, bitchy old women like yourself. Someone had to have ordered them to do that. And I demand that you tell me who."_

"_That's no way to talk to your elders," Tazuko smiled wryly, adding "And I told you not to call me ba-chan. But…" Her smile faded. "You're right about those kunoichi. The attack wasn't random. And this mission is probably above your paygrade. The truth is….an incredibly dangerous woman wants me dead."_

"_Who would want to kill a harmless granny like you?!" Sakuro interjected._

"_DON'T CALL ME GRANNY, BOY!"_

"_Who is it that's after you?" Kakashiko asked, refusing to let Tazuko change the subject. _

"_You've probably heard her name before," Tazuko sighed. "Gatette. The black widow millionaress."_

"_The one who murdered her husband so she could take over his wealthy shipping company?!" Kakashiko cried._

"_The very same," Tazuko scowled. "In addition to that poor man's company, she's started her own business kidnapping and trafficking women who come too close to rivaling her beauty as slaves. She uses powerful ninjas she's seduced into her service to take over companies and countries. She's a wicked vixen._

_It was about a year ago that she set her sights on the Wave Country. Her brutal boy-toys quickly took over the place with their violence. Now, she has a monopoly on our shipping industry. The only thing that bitch has to fear is the completion of the bridge."_

"_I get it," Sakuro realized. "Your bridge jeopardizes her reign as the all-but Evil Queen of the Waves…so she wants to throw you a poison apple."_

"_Comparing me to Snow White?" Tazuko laughed. "I'm much tougher than some fairy-tale damsel."_

"_But you stil couldn't fight off those kunoichi from earlier," Sasune reminded. "Gatette sent them, didn't she?"_

_Tazuko looked away, confirming Sasune's fears._

"_But what I don't understand, Tazuko-bachan," Kakashi began – and for once, Tazuko did not protest to the honorific – "Is why if you knew shinobi would be after you, why you did not tell us so when you hired us."_

"_The Wave Country is a poor one," Tazuko explained. "Even the daimyo's wife, who has ruled as regent since his demise, has no money. I certainly do not. I could not afford the expense of a B-rank mission._

_If you abandon me now, a helpless old lady, I shall be killed – but that's quite alright. My granddaughter, a defenseless little girl ,will just cry for a few days. It's no big deal if you make a little girl cry, right? And my son will swear vengeance like an action-movie hero upon you and the entire Leaf Village for allowing the murder of his beloved mother. But it's NBD!" _

"_I guess…" Kakashiko decided with a sweatdrop, "we'll just have to continue protecting you for the duration of the mission."_

"_It's the chivalrous thing to do," Sakuro agreed. "We're not that heartless." _

"_I win!" Tazuko cackled witchily. _

"We'll be there soon!" the ferrywoman called, stunning the passengers of the boat out of their apprehension-causing memories. "Tazuko, ma'am, we've avoided detection thus far, but, to be on the safe side, we're going to take the route shielded by vegetation. It will make us harder to spot."

Tazuko nodded nervously. _She's too old for this, _Sakuro thought. _She should be knitting by some fireside right now._

He heard Naruko giggle and looked up to see why cute sounds like that were coming out of her glossy mouth at a moment like this. It was then he saw the beautiful Land Of The Waves stretched out before them. It was a picturesque fishing community: Hand-hewn boats bobbed peacefully on the water as old men fished. Mangrove tress stretched up towards the sky, and behind them were historic houses in a traditional style that had sadly fallen out of popularity back home in Konoha.

"WOW!" Naruko trilled, grinning.

"This is your stop," the ferrywoman smiled. "And it's the last time you'll see me. I wish you luck, Madam Tazuko."

"Thank you," Tazuko replied sincerely as the group exited the boat. "Now, get me home safely!" she commanded the shinobi as the boat sailed away.

_If we get attacked again, _Kakashiko realized with a sigh, _it won't be by Chunin. It will be Jounin._

00o

_Ok, _Naruko decided. _I'm not going to let Sasune become Queen Bee of this little group. I've got to be a bigger star than her! _

So thinking she heard a noise, she immediately threw a shuriken.

"Oh…" she blinked. "It was just a rat."

"STOP THROWING SHURIKEN EVERYWHERE, YOU ATTENTION WHORE!" Sakuro cried.

"It's seriously dangerous," sighed Kakashiko.

"Don't be such a dumb blonde!" Tazuko scolded. "I hate it when stereotypes are true."

"I thought I saw a shadow!" Naruko protested.

"Shut up!"

"No, seriously, someone's totally after us!" Naruko threw a shuriken into the brush again.

Out popped a rabbit, speared.

"OH NO! POOR BUNNY-CHAN! I'M SORRY! DON'T DIE!"

"AGAIN, NARUKO? IF IT DOES IT'S YOUR OWN DITZY FAULT!"

"That's a white rabbit." Kakashiko noticed calmly.

"Oh yeaaaaah….what's with the color? Don't rabbits turn brown this time of year?"

_Rabbits change color due to exposure to different amounts of sunlight, _Kakashiko realized suddenly. _This rabbit must have been kept in a dark cage for the purpose of body switching! That means….they're here already!_

In the shadows, a woman with dark, pixie-cut locks, a tight, black bodysuit, a pale veil shrouding half her face, and eyebrows plucked to extinction watched the rowdy group, waiting to strike.

_No wonder the Oni Sisters didn't stand a chance, _she considered. _It's Konoha's famous Copy Kunoichi…The Sharingan Kakashiko._

00o

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" Kakashiko cried suddenly. She pinned Naruko to the ground, saving her from the slash of the great sword - _How does a woman even lift a weapon that big? _Sakuro wondered for a split second – of the mysterious woman, who had finally struck.

Said woman lept out of the shadows, landing on the hilt of her blade. Her kohl-lined eyes, as Kakashiko stared up into them, were cold and cruel. Her lace-gloved hands were clenched tightly into fists.

_No….this woman is…._ Kakashiko's eyes widened.

_This is my time to shine! _Naruko told herself. _I'll prove I'm the baddest bitch around…let Sasune be the stupid damsel this time! _

"Well, well," Kakashiko smirked. "If it isn't The Village Hidden In The Mist's _nukenin_, Momochi Zabuna-chan."

"Is that her name?" Naruko giggled. "I'll take her on!"

"No," Kakashiko insisted, grabbing one of Naruko's pigtails to hold her back. "She's….on a whole 'nother level, Naruko-chan."

_This will be a difficult battle, _Kakashiko supposed. _Unless, of course…._

She tugged at the veil that concealed half her face.

_I use this little "accessory" of mine…._


End file.
